


30 Nights

by meyari



Category: DCU - Comicverse
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-03
Updated: 2012-05-03
Packaged: 2017-11-04 18:57:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/397117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thirty nights bring them together, force them apart and finally seal their hearts together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Written based of a set of prompts I saved a while back called 30 Nights.

_001\. You were never mine to begin with._

Red Hood slammed his fist into a drug dealer's face, breaking the man's nose and spraying blood. Tim's breath caught. He paused, caught by the memory of Jason as Robin doing the exact same thing years ago. His mind captured the image of that spray of ruby, superimposing it over the image in his memory so vividly that Tim could almost see Jason's grin under the helmet.

Another thug raised his gun, pointing at Jason's unprotected back. Tim moved without thinking, throwing a disk that broke the man's wrist as he swung down to guard his partner. Jason grunted his thanks, barely acknowledging that Tim was there other than being slightly more careful with his elbows. 

It made Tim's heart hurt. They had made it past the threats and insanity, past the pain of Jason blaming Tim for replacing him, but Tim knew that he couldn't honestly claim Jason as his partner. They fucked, not made love. They sometimes teamed up but they weren't truly partners. No matter how much it broke his heart, Jason was never Tim's and he never would be.

_002\. I’m willing to sacrifice anything just for you._

Jason stretched before pulling on his jacket. His back ached from the blow's he'd taken before Tim showed up last night but it wasn't so bad that he couldn't go out tonight. The thought of Tim made him turn to stare at the young man pretending to still be asleep in the bed.

He still wasn't sure how they'd managed to hook up. Jason had just about dynamited every single bridge between them but Tim hadn't objected too much when Jason finally got his head out of his ass. Taken steps to make sure that Jason didn't knife him in the back but other than that he'd been… open. Almost kind. It was so much more than Jason deserved after all the crap that Jason had pulled. Even now Jason wasn't sure what he'd done to earn Tim's trust, what little he had.

He wouldn't lose that trust. Fucking would not. Tim was the one who'd convinced the others to give him another chance. Tim was the one who'd helped Jason overcome the anger from the Pit. Every bit of progress Jason had made had Tim's name on it. Jason knew better than to admit to Tim that he was doing it all for Tim. He'd get a lecture about how he should be doing it for himself, as if that had ever fucking worked.

No, it was better to keep quiet about the way Tim made his heart hurt. Maybe someday he'd be good enough to deserve Tim's love.

_003\. Find me in the Dark._

It was a game of hide and seek. Tim knew that Jason would always leave once the after-patrol sex was over. He would disappear into Gotham's underbelly without a trace. If Tim wanted to see him again, he had to follow. Down the dark alleys, into abandoned warehouses, across the city that they both protected despite their love-hate for everything Gotham was.

Tim hadn't realized at first that Jason wanted to be pursued. He'd pouted and chastised himself for thinking that he had any hope of a second round until Jason reappeared, cranky and wide eyed because Tim hadn't come to find him. The fight that followed had been vicious but the sex afterwards had told Tim what he hadn't understood. So now Tim let Jason sneak away into the night, pretending to sleep through the departure only to follow Jason the next night.

Tracking Jason down was never easy. He knew how to hide from Batman, Ra's and everyone else. That Tim managed to find the clues to where Jason had gone to ground that night always felt like a gift, except when it felt like Jason was going easy on him. Still, locating Jason in an abandoned subway tunnel that had been sealed off from the rest of the world under one of the better neighborhoods of Gotham was a victory that made Tim grin as Jason pinned him against the wall.

"Found you," Tim laughed under his breath.

Jason stole the laugh with a kiss.

_004\. Darkness in my heart._

Rage roared through Jason, tinting the night red. He stared at Tim's mouth as it moved angrily spewing words that Jason couldn't hear over the pound of his heartbeat in his ears. The fight was stupid but Jason couldn't beat down the darkness in his heart far enough to apologize to his baby bird. Instead when he opened his mouth hateful words came out that made Tim go white and grim.

Tim whirled and ran out into the rain.

The rage left as abruptly as if Jason's throat had been cut. He shuddered and collapsed to his knees. Every time he thought he had something good it got destroyed. Jason destroyed it. Tim, he destroyed Tim. More than anything he wanted to go after Tim but the rage was still there, waiting for another chance to destroy the boy that owned Jason's heart.

Jason stayed where he was, clutching the heart that broke every time Tim went away.

_005\. Release my darkness; Bring me warmth._

"Come on, baby bird. Come on! Don't give up on my now."

Tim stared up at Jason's worried face. He was so cold that the shivers had stopped. Jason's hand against his cheek felt like a furnace. When Jason hauled him up and over his shoulder Tim sighed and relaxed. Gunshots went off. Despite the part of himself that said he should try and stop Jason from killing anyone, Tim was too cold and too tired to make the effort.

Moments later Jason ran out of the refrigerated warehouse where Tim had been trapped with Tim over his shoulder. Tim truly wasn't sure how they got from the warehouse to one of Jason's better hideouts, the one with a proper heater and hot water tank that worked. All he knew was that Jason's face was full of worry, fear, as he stripped the two of them and carried Tim into the shower.

"You found me," Tim whispered as the lukewarm water scalded his chilled body. It felt as hot as Jason did, like molten fire cascading down his body. "I didn't think…"

His chattering teeth cut off what he'd intended to say. Jason's worried look shifted into a tender smile that soothed the dark place in Tim's heart that said he would never be truly loved.

"Of course," Jason replied.

_006\. Stolen Heart._

Jason hesitated before getting out of Tim's too comfortable bed. It had been a good night, one of those nights when Jason could pretend that Tim actually cared about him. One of those nights that made it seem like what they had was real. Tim's smiles had been real, his laughs outside instead of swallowed before they could begin. Every time they touched it had been loving and tender, not violent, needy, grasping.

He wanted to believe that this was real, that what they had built together would endure. But he knew better. Tim didn't need Jason, not like Jason needed him. He'd stolen Jason's heart without giving his own heart in return.

It showed in Tim pretending to sleep while Jason stared at the curve of his cheek lit by the streetlights outside. Even though Tim knew that Jason knew he was awake, he didn't stir, didn't ask Jason to stay, didn't do anything to indicate that he wanted more. When Jason slipped out of the bed and began to slowly dress, Tim didn't move a muscle.

Once he'd slipped away, Jason went to the opposite roof so that he could watch Tim's bedroom window. Tim rolled over and stared at the window that Jason had left open. His expression was perfectly blank, calm, controlled, content. Jason left before he could see that look slide into anything else, anything that might show how little he really cared about Jason.

_007\. First sunlight after the darkness._

The party lasted long into the night, into the wee hours of the morning. Tim smiled and flirted as was required for a son of Bruce Wayne. His face hurt from holding the smile for so long. Dick was there, hamming and glad-handing like the born showman that he was. Steph had been there with Cass, only to disappear earlier in the evening. For a while Tim had tracked Bruce's progress across the ballroom but he'd slipped away an hour ago with Damian.

Jason, of course, wasn't there.

There was no reason for Jason to attend. He was free. Officially dead but in truth free. If Jason didn't want to come to a party then he didn't have to and there was no one to make him, nothing to force him to do so. Tim hadn't even tried asking Jason to accompany him. It wasn't as though they could have spent any time together anyway. As the guests finally started leaving in pairs and trios and small groups, Tim allowed himself to go out on the balcony.

The night was cold and clear for once. Only a few stars showed in the sky, fading as the sun gradually brightened the horizon. Tim looked at the growing dawn. It was the first night in a very long time that he hadn't seen Jason at all.

"Hey baby bird."

Tim's breath caught. He turned and laughed when he saw Jason perched on the balcony rail.

"Hey," Tim replied, letting himself truly smile.

_008\. One last date…._

They can't keep doing this. Jason doesn't think he can handle it anymore. It was killing him to pretend that he was okay with just fucking Tim when he wanted so much more. Sadly, it didn't seem to bother Tim at all. Jason wasn't strong enough to break it off without one last night spent with him.

Once night fell Jason sought Tim out. They chased each other across Gotham's rooftops, capturing and slipping away multiple times before finally tumbling into Tim's second best safe house. Jason all but consumed Tim's kisses, pushing him against the wall so that he could take everything Tim would give. They stripped in the hallway, rocking against each other desperately before stumbling to the living room. Tim's couch would never be the same once they were done driving each other to screaming orgasm.

"You're… on fire tonight," Tim laughed once they came down panting.

"I'm leaving," Jason muttered against Tim's shoulder because he couldn't watch Tim's face.

"…Leaving?"

"Gotham," Jason said, a little surprised at the strength in Tim's arms.

"For a while?"

"For good. I… won't be back. This is it. Tonight."

Jason wasn't sure what the sound Tim made was supposed to be but it hurt to hear it. He tried to still the shaking, tried to meet Tim's eyes, but Tim clung to him, refusing to let go. They stayed there, cold and lonely in each other's arms, until dawn.

_009\. When all hope is lost._

He was gone.

Tim knew that Jason was gone. He'd watched Jason drive away, motorcycle loaded with his few belongings. Jason hadn't looked back, hadn't cared that Tim watched until he was gone, until he'd been gone for a long while. There would never be a way for Jason to know that Tim watched until Dick came to pull him inside.

Dick's words were questions, then worries, then anger when Tim didn't respond. There was no point to telling Dick what was wrong. Not when Dick still believed that Jason was irredeemable, that Tim stayed away from him. Eventually Dick sat and hugged Tim, holding him through the numbness, the tears and the sorrow that Tim finally had to acknowledge.

It took until patrol so Dick stayed by his side. Steph showed up in the morning, sitting with him quietly, not asking questions that Tim didn't want to answer. Cass flew in as well, alerted by someone that Tim needed his family. Not that it mattered whether they were there or not because Tim knew that all his hopes for something more were lost.

Jason was gone.

_010\. Together always._

He'd thought that they would always be together. Jason had to admit as he lay on the too-hard bed in his crappy hotel room that he really had thought that he'd find some way to make Tim look at him. See him. Give a fuck about him as more than just that guy he had sex with. In the back of his mind he'd always thought that he'd manage to find a way to convince Tim to take a chance on him.

But it wasn't going to happen. He'd been lying to himself all along. There was no way that a guy like Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne would ever spend his life with a fuck-up like Jason. Hell, they couldn't even be together officially because Jason was still dead in the eyes of the law. Couldn't be seen in public, couldn't even tell the damned family what they were to each other. Not that they actually had something real.

Jason curled up on his side, clutching one of the pillows as if it was Tim.

All those idle dreams of holding Tim's hand while facing down Bruce and Dick came back to haunt him. The sound of Tim's laugh as Jason caught him on the rooftop of the warehouse on Baxter and Vine combined with the sound Tim had made when Jason told him that he was leaving. Jason cursed loudly enough that his neighbor pounded on the wall.

It didn't matter. Tim and Jason would never be together again.

_011\. You will never look at me._

Tim drove himself too hard. Too hard on patrol, too hard when he worked at Wayne Industries, too hard when training. There weren't any reasons to hold back anymore. He didn't have someone to meet after patrol, someone who would hold him, touch him, take care of him despite Tim's inability to say what he felt.

The others knew something was wrong. It showed in how they followed Tim, forcing him to take breaks, eat, sleep, rest. Cass followed him everywhere after that first night without Jason, never leaving him alone. If she wasn't there Dick was. Even Damian took a turn though only when Tim was at the monitors. Alfred's words were especially kind as night came on but Tim didn't listen.

All he wanted was a whisky-rough voice in his ear, calloused hands wrapped around his wrists and a face with shock of white hair spun through messy black descending towards his face for a kiss. Lacking that, there was the Mission and nothing else. Tim ignored their efforts to make him talk. Why talk? There was no one left to talk anymore.

_012\. Your love is suffocating me._

Three days and nights had taken Jason from Gotham across the country. He'd driven more than eighteen hours each day, twenty the first, and found himself in Seattle. The rain was a hell of a lot like Gotham but the city streets were cleaner. To his private amusement the bums could have been the same ones as back home, just with different accents and a taste for coffee.

He hated it.

It wasn't home, not that home was a place. Home wasn't the city itself with its heavy stone buildings and abundance of gargoyles. There was no home to be found in the Narrows or Crime Alley (other than one theatre that had been remodeled right in the middle of the worst neighborhood in the whole fucking town).

No, home was a pair of bright blue eyes surrounded by pale skin, topped by a carefully controlled fall of black hair. All the fucking way across the country and Jason couldn't escape Tim. It was suffocating him, moment by moment, the feeling of wanting something he couldn't ever have. That laugh, the way his eyes snapped with anger, how Tim flinched when the rage took over and made Jason shout to drive him away; even this far away Tim still had Jason's heart clenched firmly in his hands.

_013\. Paint the night with stars._

Cass and Dick were gone. It should concern Tim but he truly couldn't care less. Four nights without Jason and he finally felt as though he was pushing the pain away. Of course that more than likely was a result of getting less than four hours of sleep in the last four days. Sleep didn't matter, wasn't necessary. What was necessary was driving the emotions away with the Mission, stopping criminals, beating down anything that promised to remind him of what he'd lost.

So no, Cass and Dick disappearing before nightfall on some mysterious mission of their own was irrelevant.

Besides, Steph was there by his side, making wise-cracks that were full of strained emotions that Tim chose to ignore. Both of them abandoned efforts at conversation when the night lit up with stars, explosions, bullets flying by.

Tim smiled.

This is what he needed, not Jason's touch, Jason's smile, Jason's perfect body with its many scars and calloused hands. This.

He descended into the battle, ignoring Steph's strangled gasp. His perfect focus lasted until one of the stars found a chink in his armor, ripping through his body and sending him flying. The alley was cold and wet with red as Damian and Steph descended to finish what Tim no longer had to.

_014\. Guardian Angel._

"He's killing himself."

Jason stared at Cass, at the pale, worried expression on Dick's face. It didn't make sense. Nothing they'd said since they tracked him down made any fucking sense at all. Cass kept her grip on his wrists, tight enough to leave bruises, tight enough to tell him that she was serious. His baby bird was killing himself because Jason had left.

"You're shitting me."

"No. Wants to die. Was happy, so happy."

"Bruce noticed it. So did I but Tim wouldn't talk to us. He kept changing the subject every time we brought you up, every time we mentioned him looking happier lately. And, well, you weren't around, not that we could see. But he was so much happier, Jay. Then you left out of the blue and his heart's just… gone."

"Does not eat. Does not sleep. Only works, works too hard. Must come home, Jason. You must come home for Tim."

"He doesn't… care." 

Jason could hear how confused he sounded, how much pain there was in his voice but he couldn't change it. The words were out and it was Cass. No one lied to Cass. She didn't lie at all. His stomach roiled as Cass slowly shook her head 'no', 'you're wrong'.

"Loves you so much," Cass said, her fingers squeezing the bones of his wrists hard enough to make them creak. "Afraid. So afraid. Afraid to lose that love."

"Me?"

"No. Tim."

_015\. Telling you the truth._

Tim woke.

He hadn't expected to wake up. It felt like a very long time had passed, hours, perhaps as much as a full day. His mind was foggy, a mix of fading pain killers and rising pain. Some of the pain was from the wound in his chest. It felt as though he was hit by an armor piercing round. Unfortunately it didn't manage to strike his heart. He truly would have been better off without that particular organ.

"Finally. You sleep like a fucking rock, baby bird."

It took a few moments for Tim to realize that yes, that was Jason's voice and yes, it was real, not a dream. Tim blinked, attempting to clear the blurriness from his eyes. Jason's tired, drawn face appeared. He looked as though he'd slept less that Tim had.

"You're back," Tim whispered.

"Fuck yeah," Jason said as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of Tim's eyes. "Damn near kill yourself; what the fuck do you expect?"

"You said you wouldn't be back."

"It was killing me." Jason's voice was raw, the emotion in his eyes rawer.

"What was?"

"Loving you without you loving me back," Jason replied.

"You don't," Tim said, this time with a fraction of the emotion he felt boiling inside. "You don't!"

"The fuck I don't," Jason countered. "Stole my goddamn heart right out of my chest ages ago and it killed me that you didn't give your heart in return."

Tears were Tim's only reply.

_016\. You don’t know what you have done to me._

Tim stared at Jason, watching as his face blurred and then resolved to clearness every time he blinked his eyes. It couldn't be true. There had never been any sign of Jason actually loving him. He tried to find words to deny it but nothing but a shuddery sob that had to be a result of the drugs Alfred had given him.

"Cass said you loved me," Jason said. He brushed the tears off Tim's cheeks, fingers gentle and oh so cruel. "Didn't want to believe her but she damn near broke my wrists."

"You don't," Tim whispered.

"About what I said, baby bird," Jason murmured, brushing away another tear.

"You don't know what you do to me," Tim moaned. "I thought, thought that, that you just wanted sex. That it wasn't real. You always left."

"You never said that you wanted me to stay."

They stared at each other for a long silent moment. Jason's face blurred from the tears. This time when Jason reached out to brush them away Tim caught his hand, holding it tight. The joy-loss-hope faded when Jason jumped in surprise.

"Never leave again," Tim whispered.

"Can't promise it but I'll do my best, baby bird. I'll do my best."

_017\. Black Wings; Wings._

Thank fucking God the wound wasn't all that bad. Tim apparently had gone down that hard more from sheer exhaustion and overwork than from the wound itself. Within the day he was up again. That night he tried to get back in the suit to go out on patrol. Jason landed on him for it, along with everyone else. To his annoyance, Jason got babysitting duty while the others went out to patrol.

"I will put this away again, Master Timothy," Alfred said.

When he held Tim's suit up, giving it a shake to remove any wrinkles from having been flung across the room, the cape looked like wings, big black wings. Tim moved to stop Alfred but Jason hugged him from behind.

"What?"

"Let him," Jason answered, enjoying the feel of Tim's slim, hard form in his arms.

"Jason."

He sounded embarrassed, as if he felt like Jason was being too forward, too obvious. When Jason chuckled in his ear Tim moaned, tilting his head exactly right to give Jason access to his neck. Jason took the invitation, kissing and then biting Tim hard enough to leave a mark that no collar was going to hide.

"They're all gone for hours, baby bird," Jason whispered against the shell of his ear. "We got hours we can spend alone and no need to hide anymore."

"Upstairs," Tim said in a sex-rough voice. "Now!"

_018\. Listen to the music at night._

There was a sort of freedom to not having to pretend anymore. Tim hadn't expected it. Of course, he hadn't thought that they'd ever be able to be open about their relationship but no one had commented when they'd come down for breakfast hand in hand. Cass smiled. Steph beamed. Dick made space for them to sit side by side. Damian showed no signs of caring one way or the other.

Bruce's eyes smiled, looking at Tim with gratitude for bringing his second son back into the fold.

That night both Tim and Jason were benched again. Tim hated it but he did have to admit that he wasn't physically ready to patrol. The wound was healing well but it was the lingering exhaustion that held him back from pushing against the others' restrictions.

That plus Jason's hand tugging him out into the moonlit gardens behind the manor, smiling so brightly that he might as well be the sun incarnate. They walked to the shore, hand in hand. Jason skipped stones, looking at Tim triumphantly when one skipped until it was lost in the dark waves. Tim caught his hand and pulled Jason close, swaying against him as if they were dancing.

Jason laughed, low and hot, as he put his hands on Tim's hip and in his hand. Together they danced to the music of the night.

_019\. Crying all night for you._

"I had to get away. It hurt so much that you didn't love me."

"I did."

"Know that now. Didn't know it then, baby bird. So I ran. Right across the fucking country. Barely stopped to eat or sleep."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I. Sucked thinking I'd never see you again."

"We were idiots."

"Got that fucking right. So what'd you do? Cry all night?"

"No."

"Really?"

"It's not that surprising."

"Nice blush, baby bird, nice blush. Seriously, what'd you do? I'm curious."

"I…"

"Yeah?"

"Stopped."

"Stopped what?"

"Living. I stopped living, Jason. I stopped sleeping, stopped eating, stopped doing anything that wasn't work or mission related. I just… stopped."

"Fuck. Goddamn it, baby bird. Don't fucking do that to yourself! That's… that's fucked."

"I know."

"…Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you stop? Everybody fucking needs you. It's not like you were totally alone."

"*snort* I wasn't alone at all. They took turns watching over me."

"So why?"

"Jason."

"Come on, baby bird. Tim. My Tim. Fuck, that's hard to accept. Believe. You're mine. Wow."

"Yeah. Wow."

"God I love that smile! Heh, and the blush. So give. Why?"

"Because… if I stopped, if my heart stopped, then I didn't have to admit how much it hurt. I could keep working, distract myself from it all, and never have to feel the pain."

"Oh."

"You?"

"Cursed, ran, cursed some more, ran farther, reached the Pacific Ocean and realized that it didn't matter where I ran. You'd always be haunting me."

_020\. Never leave me again._

"Don't leave."

Jason shivered at the seriousness in Tim's eyes as he held onto Jason's wrist. They'd left the manor to go get some of Tim's clothes. The converted theatre was seriously cool but none of the others wanted Tim to be alone. Hell, he was pretty sure that they didn't want to leave Jason alone either. Not that he could blame any of them when they'd fucked each other up so damn bad.

"Not gonna, baby bird."

Tim nodded slowly as if seeing how serious Jason was about it. A smile flitted across his cheeks. He headed into the bedroom to pack so Jason went to the fucking awesome kitchen to see if any of Tim's food had survived. It looked like Steph and probably Damian had restocked the fridge recently. There was plenty of food and some of those sodas that Tim loved but so rarely drank anymore.

"Jason?"

"Kitchen," Jason called. "You hungry? There's a ton of food."

When Tim appeared at the kitchen door his eyes were a little wild. Jason gently shook one of the sodas at him. Tim laughed and took the unshaken one, nodding at the refrigerator and its food.

"I could eat."

"Go pack. I'll make something."

"You won't…"

"Never leaving you again, baby bird."

"You ought to move in then."

Jason smiled at the hope in Tim's eyes.

"Don't tease me. I might do it."

_021\. Seeking for you._

Patrol split them up almost immediately. Jason took the worst neighborhoods in Gotham while Tim dealt with several biker bars that had decided to stage a small-scale riot over something ridiculous. He thought it was barbeque but couldn't be sure. All that really mattered was that as the night progressed he found himself looking for Jason everywhere.

He saw Jason's face in the people attacking him, his helmet every time he glimpsed anything red out the corner of his eye. Tim heard Jason's voice in every shout or groan throughout the night. It was embarrassing but revealing of how much Jason had come to mean to Tim.

Near dawn he finally found Jason down by the wharf, fighting against some drug runners who thought that they could get away with bringing product in since Red Hood hadn't been seen in days. Tim watched for a moment, swinging down to cover Jason's back after a moment.

"Found you again," Tim called as he ducked under a poorly aimed baseball bat.

"That you did," Jason replied with a chuckle in his voice despite the vicious knife fight he was quickly winning. "Gonna have to give you a prize later."

"Sounds good," Tim laughed, turning his mind fully to the fight for the first time all night.

_022\. Love you till the very end._

Really bad storms stopped almost everything in Gotham, other than Ivy but she wasn't up to anything bad. Bruce pulled them all off the streets after Cass nearly got hit by lightning during her patrol. From what Tim turned up when he checked the computers even the criminals had decided to stay home tonight.

Instead of heading back to the Cave, Jason and Tim went back to Tim's house. Family was nice but private time with no guilt about patrol was a hell of a lot nicer.

Their lips crashed together before Jason was off his bike. He pulled Tim into his lap, working the suit to get it off while Tim opened his pants and pulled Jason out. Tim had lube on his belt, letting Jason take him over the back of his bike. They stumbled into the underground lair, still kissing and leaving bits of clothing behind like breadcrumbs.

The showers got baptized by Tim's shouts of pleasure. They made it to the kitchen, still dripping, only to fuck on the counter like some bad porno. Jason grinned at the face Tim made when he realized that they'd just had sex where he prepared food. The bedroom was too far away so they ended up on the couch, Tim riding him like Jason was a stallion. All Jason could think as Tim's eyes shut and his head went back was that he'd love Tim until the fucking end of time.

_023\. Like an art piece._

It was the first time Jason had put on tuxedo since he died, as far as Tim knew. The one that Alfred had supplied fit him perfectly, highlighting Jason's shoulders and skimming to that waist. Jason looked like he wanted to burn it in napalm but Tim thought he looked like a piece of art.

"Fingers are shaking, baby bird," Jason commented with a smirk that should have been illegal.

"Mmm."

"You going to pass out? I'd like to know if I should be ready to catch you."

"Mmm."

Jason walked up to Tim, catching his chin so that he had to look into his eyes. Tim's knees wobbled. He was going to appear in public with Jason. They were going to be seen together as dates. Barbara's gift of a new identity for Jason made it possible. His breath caught sharply enough that Jason wrapped an arm around Tim's back in case he did collapse.

"I'm not sure we're going to make it past the coat closet," Tim said and promptly wished he could cut his tongue out.

Jason's laugh made the uncensored comment worthwhile. "Hey, you know I'm up for it wherever and whenever you want, baby bird."

_024\. My heart is bleeding for you…._

The fucking news had treated Tim and Jason's appearance together as if it was the worst fucking thing that ever happened. After the joy and happiness in Tim's eyes last night, seeing the cold, shuttered expression on his face tonight was fucking murder. Jason wanted to hunt the assholes down, wanted to take something precious from each of them so they'd never treat another person (his Tim) that way again.

Instead he patrolled by Red Robin's side, watching over Tim until the break finally happened. Of _course_ it was gang bangers bashing a gay couple. Of fucking course one of the kids had to go to the hospital. And of course Tim crumbled once they were back on the rooftops and out of sight of any of Babs' cameras.

"I don't care what anyone says, baby bird," Jason murmured as he held Tim through tears and sobs suppressed so brutally that it felt like Tim was being knifed each time. "I love you. I'll always love you. Everyone else can pound sand."

The reassurances didn't work too well. Familiar rage battled with an unfamiliar feeling. It was almost like someone had stabbed him in the heart. Jason could have sworn that his heart bled every time a tear fell from Tim's eyes.

_025\. Release of the evils._

Tim could see the rage rising in Jason. He'd seen it ever since they'd heard the news the previous day but as the night went on he could almost literally chart the rage rising in Jason. Punches became kicks. A beating went from brutal to nearly lethal. Jason's hand strayed to his guns' hilts more often.

He wanted to intervene, to find some way to make the rage go away, but Tim wasn't sure what to do. There had to be a way to release the anger that curdled and boiled under Jason's skin. After Jason nearly killed one thug Tim pulled him off and then indicated that Jason should follow. He was relieved that Jason did it.

"Take me," Tim ordered once they were in one of the really cheap safe houses that no one used because of the smell.

"Here?" Jason asked, rage giving way to surprise.

"Now, here, take me," Tim ordered. "I want you. All of you."

Jason's eyes went wide and he stepped back but Tim caught his belt, flicking it open so that he could get at Jason's cock. He was slammed against the peeling paint, gasping as Jason's hard cock rubbed against his stomach. Tim disarmed his suit and put a condom on Jason's cock with shaking fingers. It was brutal, bruising, painful and the most incredible sex Tim had ever had. He screamed as he came, then screamed when he came again with Jason fifteen minutes later.  
"Love you," Jason whispered.

_026\. Frozen moment at the first sight._

"This better be a goddamn important mission, B," Jason snarled as he struggled with the bow tie on his goddamn penguin suit. "This is twice in a fucking week that I've had to wear this goddamned thing."

"It is," Bruce said, always too cheap with his words.

"At least you have pants," Tim sighed behind Jason. "Stop mangling your tie. Give it to me."

When Jason turned he felt like he'd frozen solid or turned to a pillar of salt. Tim was in a dress, a sexy as all fucking hell red and black dress that hugged all the right places while hinting at a bust that Tim didn't have. His face looked perfectly feminine. Long red gloves covered his arms. A complicated ruby necklace hid his Adam's apple perfectly.

Tim plucked the tie out of Jason's hands, tying it perfectly for Jason. His eyes sparkled with amusement as Jason continued to stare in awe.

"Holy fuck," Jason whispered so that only Tim could hear him.

"Later," Tim replied, drawing one finger down the center of Jason's chest.

"Coat closet?" Jason offered.

"I was thinking the balcony but we'll see," Tim said, smirking over his shoulder so wickedly that Jason had to laugh.

_027\. I’m soulless without you._

"Almost dawn."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me. I need that arm."

"You can have it back tomorrow."

"Pfft, it is tomorrow, baby bird. Damn near four in the morning, you know."

"How many times?"

"Tonight?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Let's see. Once in the Cave. Twice in my room at the manor. Once on the side of the road on our way here. Once in the garage. Again in the living room. Three times in the bed. So far. That's what? Nine so far?"

"…I think we need one more."

"My goddamn balls are going to fall off! What's up with you tonight?"

"…Nothing."

"Bullshit. Give."

"I… can't stop… thinking about…"

"Yes?"

"Leaving."

"Me leaving."

"Yes."

"Baby bird, I don't say sappy shit like this very goddamn often so I hope you're listening. You listening?"

"Yes."

"Oh, nice glare, nice. Keep glaring like that and you might get that tenth round tonight."

"Idiot. What were you going to say?"

"Seriously now. I don't feel human away from you. I really fucking felt like leaving you tore the soul right the fuck out of my body. You're the heart of me Tim. I'm not going to leave you. Not now. Not ever. I know you got some major goddamn abandonment issues with all the crap you've gone through but I'm here and I’m staying here. Got that?"

"…"

"Hey, no crying. Damn, no tears, baby bird."

"…Love you."

"Love you too."

_028\. I feel safe with you by my side._

The reporters lights were blinding as Jason escorted Tim into the opera. They hadn't stopped their focus on Tim's latest romance. He supposed it was to be expected. Coming out as bi and involved in a gay romance wasn't what anyone had expected of Timothy Drake-Wayne but it had taken the focus off Bruce, Dick and Damian for the moment. Besides, they were involved and Tim liked being out in public with Jason.

"You okay?" Jason asked once they were inside.

"I'm fine," Tim said, much better able to deal with the attention tonight than he'd been their first time out together. "You going to stay awake through the opera?"

"Depends of it there's anything sweet to eat," Jason said with a huge grin that held just enough tension to let Tim know he was worried about Tim's response to the news tomorrow.

"Quit fussing," Tim murmured as he took Jason's hand. "I'm all right. It will be fine."

"Sure?" Jason asked, squeezing his fingers.

"Of course," Tim said. "I'm safe. I have you by my side."

Jason's blush was highly photogenic so Tim wasn't surprised when one of the reporters who had slipped inside snapped a picture of them together. If that wasn't the one on the news tomorrow Tim would be shocked.

_029\. I will never hurt you._

"Goddamn!"

Jason's panicked shout brought Bruce, Dick and Steph from the corners of the Cave. Tim ignored them in favor of clutching his ankle. It had been a very long time indeed since he'd tripped that badly during training. Of course, he hadn't trained against Jason in a thin white tank top and shorts so tight that they were obscene before. The distraction had obviously been more than Tim could handle.

"Ow." Tim's flat comment made Bruce snort and Damian roll his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry, goddamn it, baby bird, never want to hurt you," Jason murmured as he scooped Tim up and carried him over to the infirmary section of the Cave. He looked half panicked.

"You should be," Tim said just archly enough that Jason paused in the middle of a step. "Wearing clothes like that to spar in should be illegal."

Jason's panic subsided as amusement took its place. He set Tim down, kneeling to check Tim's already swelling ankle. When he looked up at Tim mischief was in his eyes but his too-tight shorts were even tighter than they'd been before.

"Distracting, am I?" Jason asked.

"Eminently," Tim said and winced. "As you can see."

To his amusement, Jason's eyes slid straight to Tim's groin. Tim blushed as his cock began to react to the stare.

"Benched," Bruce announced while walking by. "Both of you."

"Goddamn it, B," Jason groaned even though only gratitude showed in his eyes.

_030\. It hurt to see you cry._

"What's got you so clingy?" Tim asked as Jason pulled him straight into bed, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred.

"I…" Jason's throat closed up at the memory of Tim falling to the mats yesterday, the way he'd winced and hissed every time he'd moved his sprained ankle today and the never-going-to-fade memory of his tears when Jason came back.

"Words, I know you have them," Tim said.

He curled around Jason, using Jason's legs to prop his ankle up. Tim didn't seem upset about anything other than the minor pain of the accidental injury. Jason tried to smile but gave it up when Tim frowned and caressed his cheek worriedly.

"It hurts when you cry," Jason admitted in as low of a voice as he could manage. "Goddamn love you and it hurts to see you cry."

"I'm not crying," Tim whispered.

"I know," Jason sighed. "I know. Just… remembering it. Hurting you. I don't want to hurt you, don't want to see your tears."

"Don't go away," Tim said entirely too reasonably for Jason's thoroughly irrational mood. "Then you won't need to worry about it."

He cut off Jason's words with a tender kiss that promised so much more than mere sex. There was love and patience and hope in the kiss, or maybe it was in Tim's eyes when they parted lips. Jason smiled, caressing Tim's cheek.

"Love you, baby bird. Always."

"I love you too, Jay. Forever and beyond."

The End


End file.
